| October 13, 2006 |
Focus on Listening
Greetings! |
| This months newsletter is all about listening. Most of us want others to listen to us, but we often don't listen to others. Just how good of a listener are
you? Do you want to improve? Hopefully you will find something that will help you improve your listening skills in this edition of Noetic Coach Newsletter. |
In this issue :
• Listening as an Art
• Create a Habit of Listening
• Goal: Improve Your Listening Skills
 |
Listening as an Art
One of the many Chinese characters for the
verb, "To Listen", is shown above. On the left is a
symbol for the word ear. The open eye is depicted
on the top right and the open heart on the bottom
right. The line between the eye and heart means
undivided attention.
I first learned about this symbol years ago when
I was teaching in a second grade classroom. I made a giant
poster of the character and taught a lesson on
how to listen. My desire was to have my students
listen better to me. After teaching the lesson for the
first time, I realized how much I had learned. It
became a symbol and a reminder for me to be
conscience of my listening skills and model for others
what listening fully looks, sounds and feels like. I carried that poster
around for years, teaching the lesson and reminding myself of how to
listen to others.
Just like the beautiful Chinese character, listening is
an art. It does take the combination of heart, ears, eyes and
undivided attention. An appreciation of what
someone else is saying and the desire to hear
completely is truly an art.
Listening isn't easy. I often find myself thinking
about my response when others are talking. I drift
off and miss details and sometimes complete
thoughts.
At times, I find myself interruptin because I want to
argue my point and iinsert
my own thoughts. I struggle with the art of
listening everyday. But for me, it is a struggle worth
the effort and time.
A wise mentor once told me that many aspects of
the ways in which we live our lives can be viewed as
habits. I
believe that listening can easily
be thought of as a habit. Poor listening
habits can be changed into better listening habits
with just a bit of thought and work.
Listen to someone today with an open heart,
undivided attention and with your eyes as well as
your ears. I think you will find the effort pays off big
time for you and for everyone else in your life.
Ann |
Create a Habit of Listening
This month, spend some of your time focusing on
creating a habit of listening. After reading the tips
contained in this article, see if you can become a
better listener and become a model for others when
you are speaking.
Watch the speaker’s eyes. When someone
is thinking, the eyes wander up and down and back
and forth. When the person is finished thinking, you
will notice the eyes have centered once again.
Pause for a second or two after the eyes have
centered and then start speaking.
Give the speaker the stage. This isn't the
time to piggyback or one-up the speaker. Telling
your similar story does not reinforce what the
speaker is saying, instead it actually negates the
speaker’s legitimacy.
Manage your distractions. Look at the
speaker. Nod your head when the speaker makes a
point. If you can not avoid being distracted,
acknowledge that fact and make a point of
redirecting your focus on the speaker.
Give the speaker time. Right now, it's the
speaker's turn. Do not rush the speaker by
completing her thoughts, interrupting or fidgeting. If
you do not have time, let the speaker know when
you will be able to give your undivided attention.
Keep in mind, that listening does not constitute
agreement with the speaker. You are listening
because the speaker values you and wants you to
hear what he has to say.
Happy Listening
Ann |
Goal: Improve Your Listening Skills
Do you have a personal goal of improving
your listening skills? My workbook,
Goal Setting and Action Plans, is
the perfect tool for you! Set your personal goals and
develop action plans for implementation. In addition,
send me your goals and action plans and I will give
you feedback each step of the way.
Please forward this to anyone you think may be
interested in receiving a copy of my newsletter. Use
the link below to send them a copy of this months
newsletter on Listening. |
